when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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