Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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