we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
