No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
