so let's talk penis.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
