I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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