she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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