he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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