btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize