No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
