I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
