hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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