I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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