pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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