She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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