That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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