Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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