there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
