I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just want nice things and good sex
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
