So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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