haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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