i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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