His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
