we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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