Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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