are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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