The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
