sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
