I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize