Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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