at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
