Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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