Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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