What did we do last night that was yellow?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
