I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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