and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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