Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We have started to decorate penises.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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