Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
