my mouth tastes like poor choices
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So many bounce houses so little time
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
