You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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