the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
