I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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