Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
