last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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