You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
