Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
