I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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