He told me they were just razor bumps!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
