girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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