i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
