He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
