About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
