Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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